Seriously Funny Cards

Cover:  "Perhaps you'd prefer the dysfunctional family size?"
Inside:  Here's to surviving the ones we love!  Seasons Greetings

Cover:  WOW! A Special Christmas Greeting from Stevie Wonder
Inside:  Merry Christmas from Stevie Wonder (off-page)

Cover:  I Want My Testicles Back
Inside:  It's Christmas… Have a Ball!

Cover:  "That must suck having your birthday on the same day as Christmas"
Inside:  Hope your Christmas doesn't suck.

Cover:  "Damn, not socks again!"
Inside:  Merry Christmas, matey!

Cover:  Fuck It!
Inside:  Enjoy the Holidays!

Cover:  "Do you hear what I hear…"
Inside:  Go crazy, it's Christmastime!

Cover:  "Jesus Christ, close the door!  Where were you born, in a barn?"
Inside:  Season's Greetings

Cover:  "Jesus Christ!  Yeah, that's nice.  Now, a middle name.  How about "H" or "Fucking"?"
Inside:  May all of your Christmas decisions be the right ones.  Merry Christmas!

Cover:  "Well maybe we could get a room if you quit telling everybody you fucked God!"
Inside:  Have a Merry Christmas (no matter who you fucked.)

Cover:  "I said 'hold my calls' Mrs Pemberton!"
Inside:  Merry Christmas

Cover:  "Jesus-Jesus, Bo-Besus!, Banana-Fana Fo_Fesus!, FI-Fi-Mo-Mesus!, Jesus!"
Inside:  Having a Merry Christmas is the name of the game!

Cover:  To me, Christmas means cooking up a feast for family and friends… an endless, numbing day of scrubbing, grating, peeling, chopping, slicing, and dicing, until my fingers bleed, and like a tortured slave, my mind spirals into a dark psychotic pit of hell where the voices in my head begin screaming "Shoot me, please somebody just fucking shoot me!"
Inside:  'Tis the Season!