Christmas, Hanukkah & New Years Cards
Cover: "Perhaps you'd prefer the dysfunctional family size?"
Inside: Here's to surviving the ones we love! Seasons Greetings
Cover: WOW! A Special Christmas Greeting from Stevie Wonder
Inside: Merry Christmas from Stevie Wonder (off-page)
Cover: I Want My Testicles Back
Inside: It's Christmas… Have a Ball!
Cover: "That must suck having your birthday on the same day as Christmas"
Inside: Hope your Christmas doesn't suck.
Cover: "Damn, not socks again!"
Inside: Merry Christmas, matey!
Cover: Fuck It!
Inside: Enjoy the Holidays!
Cover: "Do you hear what I hear…"
Inside: Go crazy, it's Christmastime!
Cover: "Jesus Christ, close the door! Where were you born, in a barn?"
Inside: Season's Greetings
Cover: "Jesus Christ! Yeah, that's nice. Now, a middle name. How about "H" or "Fucking"?"
Inside: May all of your Christmas decisions be the right ones. Merry Christmas!
Cover: "Well maybe we could get a room if you quit telling everybody you fucked God!"
Inside: Have a Merry Christmas (no matter who you fucked.)
Cover: "I said 'hold my calls' Mrs Pemberton!"
Inside: Merry Christmas
Cover: "Jesus-Jesus, Bo-Besus!, Banana-Fana Fo_Fesus!, FI-Fi-Mo-Mesus!, Jesus!"
Inside: Having a Merry Christmas is the name of the game!
Cover: To me, Christmas means cooking up a feast for family and friends… an endless, numbing day of scrubbing, grating, peeling, chopping, slicing, and dicing, until my fingers bleed, and like a tortured slave, my mind spirals into a dark psychotic pit of hell where the voices in my head begin screaming "Shoot me, please somebody just fucking shoot me!"
Inside: 'Tis the Season!
